Tonight is one of those nights where my mind is locked in a vicious cycle, replaying the fear and confusion I felt, driving home from church, crying.
I was wondering, "What is happening to me and why?" I was scared to take actions and scared to step forward. When I did come forward, months later, my story was believed--and instantly hushed.
I heard stuff like, "You will cause a church scandal," or "it's better to take care of this privately," or even worse.... "You need to just forgive him."
The pastor believed me. Many people stepped forward to lend support to my story. And NOTHING was done. And instead of church leaders coming forward and taking care of the situation, I was told I had to confront my abuser myself if I wanted it to stop. No one else wanted to "make him angry."
In the end, I lost the church family I dearly loved and the man who abused me is still there and still a deacon and leader in the church.
It was one month after my 18th birthday.
I may never have a day in an earthly court, but I am the daughter of the righteous judge of all the Earth. And He says that one day, He will get vengeance. For Him. For me. For all who have suffered pain and confusion in the dark.
I will repay, says the Lord.
It's a promise.
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